


Ladyhog

by Lexicona



Category: Ladyhawke (1985), Lord of the Rings - Fandom, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexicona/pseuds/Lexicona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By day one way, by night another.<br/>While escaping Orthnac, merriadoc "badger" brandybuck encounters a dwarf king accompanied by a hedgehog who lives in the king's pocket. After traveling to an inn in Bree, merry almost gets murdered by the inn's double-crossing accountant bill ferny, only to be saved by a large black wolf the size of a warg. Upon returning to the inn, he encounters a beautiful hobbit lady but no sign of the king or the hedgehog. <br/>Something tells him his companions are more than what they seem.<br/>Based on "Ladyhawke"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Badger Escapes from Orthnac

"May the Valar forgive me for what I am about to do, and may I be pardoned for what I have done"

With these words, Merriadoc Brandybuck, known to some as "The Badger" and to his kin in the Shire as "Merry", emerged from the dirt and found himself in Fangorn Forest. 

It had taken months of planning, but Merry had succeeded in doing what no one had ever achieved before: escaping from Orthnac.

Even now, as he glanced at its towering stature that glinted in the dawning light afternoon light with the reflected glow from the surrounding forges, Merry could not begin to fathom how he had been so lucky. True, it helped when your inmate was a lunatic and you yourself were a hobbit—a race known for being small of stature as well as quick and light on their feet.

 

He knew he had to make for the nearest town and fast.

He could hear the howls of Wargs.

***

Saruman's patience was wearing thin.

The most recent batch of Uruk-Hai were proving to be unmanageable, and some of the Edain that served him were starting to question the morality of what they were doing.

It hadn't helped matters any when Grima informed him meekly that one of the halflings had apparently escaped. It certainly hadn't improved his mood when he went to the halfling's shared cell and found that its only occupant was the raving edain from Dale, who had merely uttered "The badger escaped" over and over.

If Merry had still been there, he might have said that it was nigh on second breakfast when Saruman's soldiers set off after him.

***

From the southernmost edge of the Gap of Rohan, a dark figure sat on a pony that was in fact exceedingly large for its size. 

A tiny Squeak emanated from under the figure's dark cloak.

"I think we've found our new Burgler, Ghivashel." The figure responded with a voice like thunder.

And with that, the figure and the pony cantered off after the tiny speck in the distance.


	2. Thorin Oakenshield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Merry nearly avoids recapture, and meets a rugged yet regal Dwarf on an unusual quest accompanied by an equally unusual animal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artistic liberties with Hedgehog Biology are taken in this chapter and all others afterward—you've been Warned.

"...And that, my comrades, is how I escaped from Orthnac! And to celebrate such an occasion, how's about I buy everyone here the next round of drinks?"

After a fortnight of miraculously staying ahead of his persuers, Merry had finally reached what his cousin Pippin would have deemed "A Safe Distance", which is to say a public dining hall in Edoras. He'd hoped the Green Lady would forgive him for the petty theft of a pouch of gold he'd lifted from one of Saruman's Men, and especially for the clothes he'd stolen from a horse breeder's family near the Hornburg (he'd felt worse about that, though he supposed it helped that the small child whose garments he'd taken had witnessed him doing so and told him that it was ok). He decided at that moment that he would worry about the morality of his actions when he was back in Buckland; for now, he would celebrate being the first escapee from Saruman's tower with a round of drinks—he figured a pint would do him good.

"Yer' not the first to leave the Iron Tower," came a voice a few tables over.

"Yo-you... _escaped_ , too?" Merry asked incredulously, confidence fading.

"Heh! I never said I was a prisoner." the voice sneered, and its owner stood up and pulled its hood back.

It was an Uruk-Hai.

Merry dropped the pouch of gold, and nearly lost control of his bladder when he saw that the rest of the patrons in the Hall were either Uruk-Hai or Wildmen working for Saruman. His mouth dropped in shocked horror when he turned and saw that one of the Men, the one called "Wormtongue", had been in the kitchen the entire time and had apparently armed himself with a cruel-looking filleting knife while there. 

 _Yavanna help me_ , Merry thought.

Pure chaos followed that thought, because at that very moment a pony burst through the double doors.

it was no ordinary pony; indeed it was perhaps the largest pony Merry had ever seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of the hedgehog's attack as similar to that of the monstrous Bunny-with-a vicious-streak-a-mile-wide from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.


End file.
